Excuse Me While I Figure This Out
Updated: Jun 10
Hi there. I'm Melina. I'm so excited to introduce myself and express my gratitude that you have taken the time to read what I have to say...and look forward to interacting with you! If you have been to my site more than once you may notice I am the midst of changing the original site FUZZLE (www.fuzzlesbo.com) to align my webpage design and domain name closer to my intentions...now updated as Honey & Fetch (www.honeyandfetch.com). I would never claim to be an expert in writing blogs...creating podcasts...or designing a website....not a chance. What I am is an open book that will always assist others as I challenge myself to learn something new (and hopefully inspire through meaningful thoughts and content). At very least...I can share what not to do as I fumble my way into new territory...Over the last week I have learned a couple of lessons as I just took the plunge diving into my desire to become a better writer through blogging. Here are a few considerations when starting out:
1. Creating Value
First and foremost you need to ensure you are creating value (she said to herself)...I believe strongly in the principles of servant leadership and always promote the idea we should give more to others than what we expect in return...this is especially true if you want to build trust and intend to grow an audience. You may want to ask yourself questions like...'am I an expert in something?' ...or 'do I have something to teach or learn?'... or 'what is my overall intention?' ...or 'am I trying to just amuse myself or others?'...or 'is this a hobby or a business?' The questions are endless and you should ask a lot of them (unless you are my sister and then you just jump right in)... this brings me to number 2...
2. Decision-Making and Compromise
I am in the process of building something with my sister, Am'arie. If you are starting a joint venture of any kind...a blog or podcast, business partnership, friendship, romantic relationship, etc...I don't want to state the obvious here...but it will most likely not be just you in the decision-making process. As an individual I believe in the need for independence and being authentically yourself. Just know the 'you' may have to make compromises as you build with a partner (she repetitively said to herself over the last week). Please take my word this should never be done in a haphazard way just to appease someone else...rather you state your position and the 'why' and then have your partner do the same...after listening to each others views you may find yourself considering a different idea than you initially constructed in your mind...or on the contrary decide you cannot comprise your own values and beliefs and should consider going on your journey solo. In the end it will all come crashing down if you don't have the desire to follow through with what you are planning...and you will suffer the loss of time and energy you invested in something you really didn't want to begin with (never a win-win). Am'arie and I feel our differences not only make us unique...it enhances who we are and our content is enriched by our willingness to debate and learn from one another. In fact...I wish I would have known this growing up...it would have saved us a lot of grief (especially the time we spent grounded).
3. Building a Brand
You are the representation of you and you will be held accountable to the version of yourself you share with the world. We all have different sides to our personalities...different ways of coping...different environments...goals...passions...physical attributes...likes and dislikes...experiences both positive and negative...parts of us we are ashamed of and parts we are proud of...I maintain not only is it important to be accountable for the development of the content you share... but to own who you are and what you put out there for the world to see. I am fully aware this slice of time that you are reading this blog post will create an immediate impact from the words expressed and your interpretation of those words. Unfortunately...although our knowledge and experiences evolve and change...our words and thoughts can be continuously heard and read (thank you internet)...maybe forever...so will yours...you may already be onto the next thing...while that version of you that you shared from 5 years ago is who people will remember you as in the present.
Am'arie and I have different views on this too...if I'm conservative...she's the twist. Am'arie would tell you live in the moment...I would say just take a minute...pause and reflect...and she would argue no one has the right to tell you how to live and not even consider the consequences as she places focus on what makes her happy. The counter argument would look something like this scenario...you may be 18 years old and graduating this month...get hammered on the beach...and post something to a social media site that you may not want to have to explain years later during a job interview. If you pause and make sure your actions are aligned with your intentions and future goals you may reconsider bonging beer naked and posting a picture with a colorful caption...even if it seems fun in the moment (not that my sister has done this). Worse yet...you may build a brand based on an image or association that you will have a difficult time removing yourself from...close your eyes and envision the actor from the movie Home Alone...are you able to picture Macaulay Culkin as the child star we all remember? Now...do you remember what he looks like as an adult? Like it or not once an image is created of you in someone else's mind it will be hard for them to envision you as something else. You should consider this when building your brand.
4. Going with the Flow
This one is up for debate...Am'arie and I both have opinions about this as well (we actually recorded a podcast last night about this very topic...the problem is we lost it somehow...rookie mistake)...you won't be able to listen so here is the premise...coming from a quality background...one Lean principle I've learned relates to a functional process...if it is working there is a flow or a natural harmony and people have a joyful willingness to participate...this I agree with both personally and professionally...while I am by no means uptight and I do take risks...it is rare that I would blindly follow someone or something without taking a time out for reflection upfront...I believe you can set yourself up for success or failure based on your immediate decisions and collective choices. I view everything around us as part of a process, system, or pattern and I always want to know who is trying to pull my strings and why (yes...I most likely do have trust issues)...really it's just my desire to tear things apart to see how to put it back together and build something new in a more functional way. My sister is happily content to just go with her gut and desires to try something new or join in with someone without a second thought....and may even tell you she doesn't think about it at all as she jumps right in. I appreciate this about her...I cheer her on when it works out for her...and laugh out loud while shaking my head when it doesn't as I utter 'what were you thinking?'. What I can say is that we love each other and will always pick each other up when we fall no matter what happens...we learn from each other and find the humor in our differences.
5. Social Connection
Ultimately you are in the driver's seat of your own life...there will always be those who support you or try to hold you back from their own fears or regrets. Am'arie and I both agree you should always live through your own determination and be authentically you (at very least it will make a good story you can tell in the future). As a private person by nature, I would caution you to seriously consider your level of comfort with making yourself open to the general public...this blog you are reading is not private and if you write open content you will find not only are your friends and family going to get a deeper glimpse of your inner most thoughts...so will your employer...strangers...and those you have purposely left behind. Do you have an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend you rather not communicate with? Have someone in you past that you purposely distanced yourself from because they are toxic to your soul? A boss or coworker you would rather not know the certain aspects of your content? In the present you may have acquaintances or a new love interest that will be able to view a different aspects of your personality and beliefs you may not share in person...or you may give psychopaths you otherwise wouldn't have crossed paths with a new fixation (I know...I know...I definitely have trust issues)...my point is they all have the potential to read your blog, visit your site, and directly reach out to you with ease. I am a person that assumes positive intent and I believe 99.9% of people are good...just know the 0.1% you would rather not communicate with will have a direct means to connect. While I am excited to interact with others...the ER nurse in me feels the need to make a public warning related to some of the potential negative effects this type of exposure can bring to your physical and mental health.
This post is based on my opinions...your experience and opinions may be completely different and I welcome open discussion...the only thing I know for certain at this moment is...just as the two of us are adaptable...this site will evolve as well. I’m looking forward to sharing what this project of ours will become and hope to meet some awesome people along the way. Let’s inspire one another through our ups and downs...and support one another as we aspire to fulfill our own dreams and goals. So...whoever you are...whatever you believe...welcome to my little community. As I figure out the direction this passion project will become with my sister...I would love to get to know you...so let's get together and chat about that thing we call life.
P.S. I look forward to you meeting my sister Am'arie...you will hear from her soon!